More Kid Quotes

I have had the following on my phone so I don't forget and I am going to put them here to archive them!
My Boy (Age 4)
My boy to Me: "I am firing you from my love life!"

My Boy (Age 6)
Me: Do you love me?
My Boy: Yes
Me: How much?
My Boy: I'm not telling you. You have to google it.

My Boy (Age 7)
My boy to Me: "Since I am the handyman of the house . . ."

My Girl (Age 9)
Me: You can do whatever you want, just do it well.
My Girl [rolling eyes]: You always say that!

And my 6 year old says . . .

My daughter who is six went shopping with me tonight. While in the restroom she asks me, "Mom, what does T-A-M-P-O-N spell?" I tell her. She says, "What are those?" I tell her something she will use when she gets older. Then she asks, "Mom, what does N-A-P-K-I-N spell?" I tell her. She says, "Why would someone need a napkin?".

And then her final observation . . .

"Hey mom, those Tom Toms are only 25 cents!"

~end~

Oh My Shit!

So My Boy and I were sharing a little walk today and something happened. I don't even recall what exactly. Maybe he tripped a little or dropped one of the rocks he was carrying. Who knows. Irrelevant.

What I am writing about was what he said. . . He said, "Oh My Shit." I wasn't sure at first so I said, "What was that buddy?"

"Oh My Shit." he said back matter of factly.

I just started to laugh. And then he started to laugh.

"I said, where did you hear that."

"Daddy said it when he . . ." Again, I dont' recall what he said about when Daddy said it. I just know he just threw Daddy under the bus.

I laughed all the way home because I found it so cute. And of course the more I giggled the more he said, "Oh My Shit." And it just go louder and louder and louder . . . till his final hurrah as he yelled it one last time running up the driveway.

And my 2 year old says . . .

Setup 1: My Boy and I are having PBJs together at the kitchen island. He decides to get chatty and deep.

My Boy: "I like Daddy."
Me: "Oh Yeah. Why?"
My Boy: "He is nice. And he is shiny."

Setup 2: My Boy likes to help clean. He wanted to do the patio door windows.

Me: "Let me spray some Windex on a paper towel for you."
My Boy: "And then I clean the window?"
Me: "Yup, you need Windex to clean the window."
Five minutes later My Boy returns to me with his paper towel . . .
My Boy: "Mommy, I need more Winn Dixie on this."

(If you don't already know, Winn Dixie is a local grocery store!)

b

One worth logging . . .

I sent an email today to My Girl's teacher about whether they were going to have show-n-tell this friday and if I should send something. I had to post her response because it made me laugh out loud!

"Yes we will do show and tell Friday. Last week was too crazy with earth and science day. Please send something…[My Girl] will get something out of the garbage to talk about if you don’t!! She doesn’t miss an opportunity for a spotlight!"

Figures.

b

And my 6 year old says . . .

Last night My Girl asked about our old dog Dakota. She was just shy of 3 when Dakota died. She often asks about her. Well, last night hubby explained she died shortly after Katrina hit. My Girl started to cry hard. She said she really missed her. She asked a million questions. Like, where is she now? Well, we like to be honest and told her that she was cremated and her remains are in a can in the guest bedroom. Of course I had to explain what cremated was, and why a can, etc.

Eventually after more questioning, she rolled over to go to sleep and I remained in her bed awhile longer with her. Just when I thought she was fast asleep she popped up and looked at me with big eyes and a smile. I said, "What?"

She said, "Can I take Dakota's can of dust to school tomorrow for show-n-tell?"

Look, mommy, my poop!

The boy is potty training and wearing his big boy undies. I took him to Wal-Mart yesterday. Upon arrival I took him to the potty. I wasn’t there but 30 minutes. In the checkout I smell something. I feel his butt and realize he pooped his pants. I pay and know the bathroom is right there upfront and I have extra clothes in my purse.

As I am putting the bags in the cart he says,”Look mommy, my poop!” I look and there on the floor is his poop. It fell out of his underwear onto the floor. A big turd right there in the middle of the Wal-mart checkout. I asked the cashier for a napkin. She asked what happened. I told her and you should have seen the look on her face. She was young and probably doesn’t have kids. The lady behind me in line and her teenage daughter both leaned over their cart and looked. They both scrunched up their noses. I simply bent down picked it up and walked away with My Boy in tow walking like a cowboy because his butt had poop in it.

When I got to the car I just started laughing at what a scene that was. It didn’t really phase me but the looks on everyone’s faces. I can only imagine what they were thinking.

And my five year old says . . .

At dinner my 5 year old (six next month!) asks how a telephone works. I passed that one to daddy for an explanation. He gives here a very detailed and scientific explanation. She laps it up!

He ends by saying, "So when Nana calls, her voice travels in tiny bits of info super fast over the phone lines and then they all come together on your phone and you can hear what she says."

I add, "Yup, and they travel that fast over thousands of miles. Cool huh?"

She says, "Man, Nana's voice must be really tired."

If These Walls Could Talk

This post is written as if my house were talking and selling itself to a potential buyer.It is part of a Monday Mission.

Welcome to our home. The current family has been here almost 5 years and has really fixed me up with the biggest change being to my yard. I used to have a lot of vegetation and you couldn't even see the neighbors to the left. Well, since the hurricane the owners and neighbors have certainly trimmed things back a lot. I get a lot more sun as they took away a lot of shade. I used to have at least 14 more pines shading me than I do now. In addition a big shady White Oak in the backyard fell during Katrina and that was a big loss to me and the owners. At least I got a new roof out of that horrible storm.

Well, if you step through the front door into the foyer you will see the Madisonville Wooden Boat Show 2004 poster framed and center stage. That does not stay with the house. It represents the owners first year in Lousisiana.

To your left is the the office/toy room/craft room/dance room. From this room I hear a lot of loud music and the owners are often dancing like crazy people. They also play the music loud from here so they can hear it in the kitchen while they are cooking and eating dinner. Excuse the mess as they have two small children who love to pull out every toy every single day. The craft table is always hosting a project in progress by the owner's 5 year old. Watch your step over the GeoTrax train set. This room was completely gutted after Katrina. It has all new bamboo wooden floors and new can lights and a ceiling fan. The walls hold a nice green color by Ralph Lauren.

Straight ahead is the living room. Yes, I know it is long and narrow. To the left is the TV viewing area (also the extended dance floor from the play room) and to the right is the sitting area around the fireplace. This room used to be all puke brown when the current owners bought it but they have updated with these nice colors. You will also notice they have painted all the dark wood stained trim - white!

Moving through the living room you will see I offer a very nice sized eat-in kitchen with a big island which is topped with a new granite counter top. (It really needs to be painted if you ask me. Owners keep talking about it but never get around to it.) All appliances have been replaced by the current owners. Let's take a peak in this nice stainless steel refrigerator - Oh! Look at that they have Mott's Pomegrante Apple Sauce - the wife's new fav. Would you like one? No. Ok - moving on.

There is no garage but this double car carport is right off the kitchen making it convenient for hot sunny and rainy days. And attached to the carport is a nice size shed and a covered concrete area for storing outdoor toys, an extra fridge and a gardening table. From here you can see that the whole exterior of the house where there is wood siding or trim has been painted. It used to be a horrible peach!

If you come over to these french doors off the living area you will get a good view of their backyard. It is a 1/2 acre lot. You can still see where trees have been removed or fell down from storms. There used to be a fence around the backyard but the current owners removed it as it was getting to be ugly. It has really opened up the backyard and with all the trees gone there is room to put in a huge pool if you so desire.

You can also see that the driveway wraps all the way around the back of the house and there is extra parking at the end of the drive. All that concrete makes a great area for the current owners kids to ride bikes, play, skate, draw with chalk or whatever their hearts desire. Big bonus to this house!

Follow me down this hallway. There are three bedrooms on the right and a guest bath on the left. The guest bath is rather large with two full size sinks on each side with large vanities. A nice touch.

The room at the end of the hall also was gutted after Katrina and also has new bamboo wood floors and new can lights and ceiling fan.

Down this last hallway is actually an addition that was built onto this house after a fire. It is the master bedroom. Yeah, nice huh? It and the kitchen are the main reasons the current owners bought this house - well, that and all the shade we no longer have . . .

Anyway, this room is VERY large as you can see. It has its own sitting area and obviously can house large furniture. I will have to discuss with the current owners but the bedroom set might be staying. If they don't have this big of a room in their next house they can't take this bedroom set.

And finally, here is the master bath. It has his/her sinks, a jacuzzi tub, steam shower and private toilet area with a bidet and a walk-in closet. As the wife of the house always says, "The people who put in this bathroom were obviously french." Why? Well, there is also a waist height showerhead in the shower that serves the same function as the bidet. . . . Hmmmmmm. As you can see the current owners use the bidet as a magazine rack. It does in fact work. The water is just turned off right now. The daughter of the owners turned it on full tilt when they first moved in and it sprayed to the ceiling and drenched the toilet area. It was quite a mess to clean up.

So that is it. The owners have tried to take good care of me in the past 5 years. Replacing things as needed. Oh! Which reminds me, the air conditioner is brand new. Yes, it is that big box on the patio that looks like a rocket ship! If I were you I would have that moved off the patio to the side of the house. Only costs about $500. If you can afford it . . . I have to say I am glad they replaced that old unit. It used to keep me up at night as it was so damn loud that you couldn't talk to each other when outside. Even the neighbors could hear it when it was running.

So, take another walk through if you want. The neighbors are great, the neighborhood is great and it is one of best public school districts in the state. The neighbhorhood boasts easy access to all major highways and commuting routes. None of that info was known by the current owners when they bought the house but they sure are glad they picked me.

Jesus is the president

STORY ONE:
"Hey Mommy! Do you know who is on the one dollar bill?"
"Who?"
"George Washington, our first president."
"That's right! Do you know who our president is now?"
"Well, what happened to George Washington?"
"Oh honey, he died a long time ago. So, do you know who is president now?"
"Yeah!"
"Who?"
"Jesus!"


STORY TWO:
Setup: While shopping at Target my daughter spotted a very trendy sequined (sparkly) tank top. She told me that is what you wear if you are a star.

"Mommy, the TV has this thing called quit trim."
"Huh?"
"Quit trim. You go there and lose weight."
"Oh. You mean Quick Trim."
"Yeah, you could go there and lose weight."
"Do you think I need to lose weight?"
"Only if you want to wear that sparkly tank top at Target and look like a star."

My regular readers, are you seeing a trend here? My daughter is more obsessed with my weight than I am!

Marriage Proposals

My girl has 10 boys and 4 girls in her class. So her birthday party was mostly boys. I had one mom tell me when rsvping for the party that her son always says he is going to marry my girl so they wouldn't miss her party!

At the party another mom told me her son says he too is going to marry my girl.

The teacher at school told me yet another boy confessed his love for my girl to her. And he actually said, "I love (my girl)! I really love her."

I told another mom from the class the story today and she laughed and said,"Those boys better get in line because her son was already set to marry my girl. And he has first dibs because they have been together the longest." This is true.

So at bedtime today my girl asks me how she can stop herself from growing up. I asked why. She said because J.S from school wants to marry me and I keep telling him I don't want to. "Mommy, I don't want to grow up and get married. I just want to be with you." Sniffle. Sniffle. (from me of course)

How ya like me now?

Hubby is out of town. Kids are in bed. You can tell by this post and the next one that I decided to take a little "me" time tonight and have some fun.

I got an email from makoversolutions.com to try out different celebrity hairstyles.

So here I am. How ya like me now?

Original Photo:


Hairstyles:

I am the most popular!

I am officially nominating myself and awarding myself "The Most Popular Member of My Family!"

I am so popular in fact that every time I walk by my daughter she has to say my name in admiration. Most times in request of a snack, drink refill, tv channel change, blanket, shoe removal, etc. But none the less she is requesting ME! the most popular family member.

The boy, he admires me so much he runs around the house all day yelling out my name in a repetitive banter. Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! MOMMA! (that is his extra loud screech meaning you better respond "Mrs. Most Popular Member of the Family!) I would say he showers me with admiration at least 4000 times a day. It is incredible!

Just last night while settling the kids down before bed we decided to watch Matilda together. Both kids were admanant about sitting with yours truly. Not Daddy! Yuck! They even fought over me! It was so thrilling. They just hopped up into the big gold comfy chair and snuggled up to me. I don't think I have ever had anyone actually FIGHT over me.

The best is that even the dog thinks I am the most popular. She does not get out of her bed or leave our bedroom until THE QUEEN (me) has risen. Daddy can be up showering, making coffee, up with the kids, but the dog will not move until I do. My daughter complained tonight that the dog won't stay in her room at night. She leaves when I leave. Yes, I am sooooooo wanted by all! Even the dog!

And last buy not least, my hubby (like the kids) thinks I am the best snuggler too. Except not on the gold chair watching tv . . .

So with dark circled eyes, a weary smile, dishes in the sink and nine loads of laundry to do I proudly accept my award of "The Most Popular Member of My Family!"

You might be from Ohio . . .

My uncle who is from Ohio but has lived in Virginia most of his adult life sent me this. I spared you all the length and only included the ones I felt were really true.

You know all the four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction. (Construction is summer in case you are confused)

You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
( Yes, more people in Ohio stay in state when going to college because we have so many good ones. I am partial to Ohio University! Not Ohio State - there is a difference.)

You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
(Hubby and I both loves these. My mom used to make them every Christmas!)

“Toward the lake” means “North” and “toward the river” means “South.”
(And if you live near Lake Erie your are either East or West of Cedar Point)

You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths. (Once in college I had this boyfriend from some little po-dunk town in southeast ohio. He and his brother had this accent. I started talking to this guy next to me in class one day and he said a word a particular way and I asked him if he was from that same town and sure enough he was. He was shocked I guessed. People from Toledo "go over" someone's house. People in Cleveland "go by" someone's house.)

“Vacation” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall. (Oh. Don't get me started on the hunting vacation.)

You measure distance in minutes.
(He He. True! My friend from Cleveland visited my house once when I was in high school. She was asking me where certain places were and I kept telling her in minutes. She made fun of me and said, "Can't you just tell me roughly how many miles?" I had no idea!)

You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
(Again, very true. Ask my mom. They tell me about this all the time.)

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?”
(Uh. Yup. That is true too. )

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
(Sure did. Didn't leave the house unlocked, but we used to leave a key to house on a hook inside that unlocked garage. My grandma lived out in the country and left her house unlocked until recently.)

You carry jumper cables in your car.
(I thought everyone did until I moved away. I just needed them down here last month. Thank goodness my neighbor had some. She said they came with her car. Figures.)

You know what “pop” is.
(I said this the other day and my 4 year old asked me what it was I was talking about.)

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
(We also KNOW HOW TO drive in snow.)

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
(Mom, this one is all you!)

You call it Krogers even though it is Kroger.
(Or not it is Meijers instead of Meijer.)

And my four year old says . . .

Hubby and I were joking in the car tonight . . .

I said, "That's not funny. You are being insulting!"
He said, "Seriously, I am joking. I am NOT being insulting."
4 year old says, "Daddy, it's okay. You're not salty."

Rebuilding New Orleans Cartoon

I received this in an email and thought it was worthy of posting here. Sorry to whomever deserves the credit line. I can't read it!

For complete description of materials and how to build it please refer to Genesis Chapter 6:14-16

Fun with voting!

I voted today! Yup, for the first time ever I actually did my research on every issue on the ballot! And if anyone cares, I voted for both Reps and Dems this election.

In my research I stumbled across some pretty funny things that I have to share! You gotta love Louisiana Politics!

Royal Alexander (R) Running for Attorney General
Found on his campaign website:
-"Download high res image of Royal here." What? Who wants a high res photo of this guy?
- Site says he is “running to end the good ole’ boy politics of the past.” However, I see he was Chief of Staff to US Congressman Rodney Alexander. Don’t know who that is, but suspicous that they share the same last name . . .

John Georges (I) running for Governor
Found on his campaign website:
- “In the summers John was sent to Greece to help on his Father’s family farm. From this experience, he speaks fluent Greek and he gained respect for the role Louisiana plays in the world.” How does the fact that he speaks Greek have anything to do with the role LA plays in the world. It is not like he has previously held a public office for the state? This has to be the worst marketing fluff I've ever read!

- "Under Georges leadership, AMA Distribution, the 50 year old amusement company, he purchased from Mrs. Nims in 2000, has consolidated smaller competitors into one company that distributes video games, Brunswick pool tables and other machines. AMA has a gaming license. " First of all, who the hell is Mrs. Nims? Are we supposed to know who she is? This was the last paragraph on a page about his career. I reread the page to see if there was a previous mention of Mrs. Nims that I missed. NONE! Also, I guess that last sentence was thrown in there when it came out his association with the gaming industry.

Sammy Kershaw (R) Running for Lt. Governor
Found on Wikipedia:
- “Kershaw's bankruptcy application stems from financial losses from a failed restaurant known as Hotchickens.com” - Is this who we want to elect to be our Governor?

- I also found out ole' Sammy is a country music star married to country music star Lorrie Morgan. I didn't recognize his name as I don't really follow country music. I thought his teeth looked too perfect and white for LA.

Mike Strain (R) running for Commissioner of Agriculture
Found on his campaign website:
- “I’m Mike Strain, a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine (DVM) for 24 years, a conservative Republican State Representative who has served the people of St. Tammany Parish for the past 7 years, and I’m determined to reform Louisiana from top to bottom.” How are you going to reform LA from top to bottom as the Commissioner of Agriculture?

Walter Boassso (D) running for Governor
Found on his campaign website:
– Under a long list of Awards I found these two entries: 2006 King- Knights of Nemisis Mardi Gras Parade and 1990 Our Lady of Lourdes – King Mardi Gras Parade. Only in New Orleans would being a king of a Mardi Gras parade be considered an Award!

Bobby Jindal (R) for Governor
Found on Wikipedia:
- According to family lore, Jindal adopted the name Bobby after watching The Brady Bunch television program, at age four and has been known by that name ever since, as a civil servant, politician, student, and writer. Legally though his name remains Piyush Jindal. We have quite a Brady Brunch running for public offices this election. See below.

On the ballot the nicknames or rather the names the candidates are publically known as are put in quotes.(i.e "Bobby" instead of Piyush) Here are a few good ones I found on my ballot: “Tony G., Vinny, Spanky, Buddy, Ace. ”

Only in Louisiana ...

How did you meet daddy?

Yup! My girl popped that question tonight at dinner. A mere 4 years old and already I have to answer such questions. After I explained how I met him she followed my reply with this:

"So then you played with him, sang songs, went to the park, danced around, played games, and then told each other your names? Oh no, you are suppose to tell each other your names first!"

Ugh. Well, it sorta went like that . . .

For more laughs you have to read this article that arrived in my inbox recently! It will crack you up!

How to decide who to marry- by kids

Nude Housecleaners Needed!

I was thinking of getting a job and found this on Craigslist.org. Heck! It pays well!

Need housekeepers for nude house cleaning business. All ethnicities and body types encouraged to apply. Will clean houses in lingerie, topless, or completely nude depending on what you want to do. Nothing sexual, only cleaning. Asking for males and females. Send a pic, contact information, and a short bio in reply. I'm easy to work for and pay is good...

Location: Greater New Orleans
Compensation: $30 and up per hour depending on situation