More Kid Quotes

I have had the following on my phone so I don't forget and I am going to put them here to archive them!
My Boy (Age 4)
My boy to Me: "I am firing you from my love life!"

My Boy (Age 6)
Me: Do you love me?
My Boy: Yes
Me: How much?
My Boy: I'm not telling you. You have to google it.

My Boy (Age 7)
My boy to Me: "Since I am the handyman of the house . . ."

My Girl (Age 9)
Me: You can do whatever you want, just do it well.
My Girl [rolling eyes]: You always say that!

And my 6 year old says . . .

My daughter who is six went shopping with me tonight. While in the restroom she asks me, "Mom, what does T-A-M-P-O-N spell?" I tell her. She says, "What are those?" I tell her something she will use when she gets older. Then she asks, "Mom, what does N-A-P-K-I-N spell?" I tell her. She says, "Why would someone need a napkin?".

And then her final observation . . .

"Hey mom, those Tom Toms are only 25 cents!"

~end~

Oh My Shit!

So My Boy and I were sharing a little walk today and something happened. I don't even recall what exactly. Maybe he tripped a little or dropped one of the rocks he was carrying. Who knows. Irrelevant.

What I am writing about was what he said. . . He said, "Oh My Shit." I wasn't sure at first so I said, "What was that buddy?"

"Oh My Shit." he said back matter of factly.

I just started to laugh. And then he started to laugh.

"I said, where did you hear that."

"Daddy said it when he . . ." Again, I dont' recall what he said about when Daddy said it. I just know he just threw Daddy under the bus.

I laughed all the way home because I found it so cute. And of course the more I giggled the more he said, "Oh My Shit." And it just go louder and louder and louder . . . till his final hurrah as he yelled it one last time running up the driveway.

And my 2 year old says . . .

Setup 1: My Boy and I are having PBJs together at the kitchen island. He decides to get chatty and deep.

My Boy: "I like Daddy."
Me: "Oh Yeah. Why?"
My Boy: "He is nice. And he is shiny."

Setup 2: My Boy likes to help clean. He wanted to do the patio door windows.

Me: "Let me spray some Windex on a paper towel for you."
My Boy: "And then I clean the window?"
Me: "Yup, you need Windex to clean the window."
Five minutes later My Boy returns to me with his paper towel . . .
My Boy: "Mommy, I need more Winn Dixie on this."

(If you don't already know, Winn Dixie is a local grocery store!)

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And my 6 year old says . . .

Last night My Girl asked about our old dog Dakota. She was just shy of 3 when Dakota died. She often asks about her. Well, last night hubby explained she died shortly after Katrina hit. My Girl started to cry hard. She said she really missed her. She asked a million questions. Like, where is she now? Well, we like to be honest and told her that she was cremated and her remains are in a can in the guest bedroom. Of course I had to explain what cremated was, and why a can, etc.

Eventually after more questioning, she rolled over to go to sleep and I remained in her bed awhile longer with her. Just when I thought she was fast asleep she popped up and looked at me with big eyes and a smile. I said, "What?"

She said, "Can I take Dakota's can of dust to school tomorrow for show-n-tell?"

And my five year old says . . .

At dinner my 5 year old (six next month!) asks how a telephone works. I passed that one to daddy for an explanation. He gives here a very detailed and scientific explanation. She laps it up!

He ends by saying, "So when Nana calls, her voice travels in tiny bits of info super fast over the phone lines and then they all come together on your phone and you can hear what she says."

I add, "Yup, and they travel that fast over thousands of miles. Cool huh?"

She says, "Man, Nana's voice must be really tired."

Dear Santa, all I want is snow.

My girl was born in Pittsburgh, PA 2 days after a snow storm that closed down the city. Which is rare up north. It has to be really bad to close down the roads in a city. She has seen and played in snow. I have pictures! But, she was too young to remember. I guess it should be no surprise to me that she is hell bent on having snow for Christmas. We keep trying to tell her it that snow in Louisiana is just short of a miracle. It did snow our first Christmas down here - lightly. (2004) First time in 50 years but we were in Ohio that year. We got snowed in at my parents for a week.

So I was cleaning up and found this scrap of paper under our tree. I almost threw it out until I read it. It choked me up a bit. I placed it nicely on the tree out of brother's reach and hope Santa can make my girl's one christmas wish come true. (Note the arrow pointing at the word "Snow")



She also drew this for Santa. Not sure why the bat was included . . .

Hillary Clinton vs. Hilary Duff

Yesterday we were listening to the Disney Station on the radio and I said to My Girl that the girl singing on the radio was Hilary Duff who was in the movie she was watching on a show early in the day.

Today My Girl was talking to hubby and I. She said, "Mommy who was that girl again in that movie I was watching yesterday?" I paused to think about it and she said, "Oh yeah! It was Hillary Clinton! Daddy, I was watching a movie with Hillary Clinton and she had this mean teacher." He gave me this quizzical look. I laughed and said, "No honey, that was Hilary Duff."

"So who is Hillary Clinton?" she asks.

Jesus is the president

STORY ONE:
"Hey Mommy! Do you know who is on the one dollar bill?"
"Who?"
"George Washington, our first president."
"That's right! Do you know who our president is now?"
"Well, what happened to George Washington?"
"Oh honey, he died a long time ago. So, do you know who is president now?"
"Yeah!"
"Who?"
"Jesus!"


STORY TWO:
Setup: While shopping at Target my daughter spotted a very trendy sequined (sparkly) tank top. She told me that is what you wear if you are a star.

"Mommy, the TV has this thing called quit trim."
"Huh?"
"Quit trim. You go there and lose weight."
"Oh. You mean Quick Trim."
"Yeah, you could go there and lose weight."
"Do you think I need to lose weight?"
"Only if you want to wear that sparkly tank top at Target and look like a star."

My regular readers, are you seeing a trend here? My daughter is more obsessed with my weight than I am!

Marriage Proposals

My girl has 10 boys and 4 girls in her class. So her birthday party was mostly boys. I had one mom tell me when rsvping for the party that her son always says he is going to marry my girl so they wouldn't miss her party!

At the party another mom told me her son says he too is going to marry my girl.

The teacher at school told me yet another boy confessed his love for my girl to her. And he actually said, "I love (my girl)! I really love her."

I told another mom from the class the story today and she laughed and said,"Those boys better get in line because her son was already set to marry my girl. And he has first dibs because they have been together the longest." This is true.

So at bedtime today my girl asks me how she can stop herself from growing up. I asked why. She said because J.S from school wants to marry me and I keep telling him I don't want to. "Mommy, I don't want to grow up and get married. I just want to be with you." Sniffle. Sniffle. (from me of course)

gotta love what kids say

My four year old (who will be 5 in Feb) was sitting on my chaise lounge in my bedroom while I was working out. I had the tv on and lo and behold what is on . . . "Real Housewives of Orange County".

I am doing some exercise where I am not able to see the tv and out comes a horrible shriek from my daughter. "Why are they sticking needles in their eyes!"

I explain to her that they are getting botox treatments. "What is botox?", she asks.
I explain what it does. She asks if she will have to get shots like that when she grows up. I say, "No, mommy doesn't get them." I ask her if she thinks those ladies are pretty. She says yes. I tell her they pay a lot of money to look that way but are much older than mommy. I ask if she thinks they are prettier than mommy.

She says . . .

"Yeah, but keep exercising mommy. You will get there."

And my four year old says . . .

Hubby and I were joking in the car tonight . . .

I said, "That's not funny. You are being insulting!"
He said, "Seriously, I am joking. I am NOT being insulting."
4 year old says, "Daddy, it's okay. You're not salty."

How did you meet daddy?

Yup! My girl popped that question tonight at dinner. A mere 4 years old and already I have to answer such questions. After I explained how I met him she followed my reply with this:

"So then you played with him, sang songs, went to the park, danced around, played games, and then told each other your names? Oh no, you are suppose to tell each other your names first!"

Ugh. Well, it sorta went like that . . .

For more laughs you have to read this article that arrived in my inbox recently! It will crack you up!

How to decide who to marry- by kids

4 year old says . . .

Tonight at bedtime my daughter said,
"Daddy is the smartest daddy. He can make anything. Well, not one thing. He can't make a fanbut."
"What is a fanbut?" I ask.
"A fanbut is like a smokehouse."

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Today my mom called and said my dad wasn't feeling well because it was hot at work and he might be dehydrated. She told the same to my daughter on the phone when she asked about Papa. So this conversation happens later.

"Honey, hurry up into the car."
"Why?"
"Because brother is sitting in the cart and it is hot out here."
"What will happen? Will he get dehydrated?"
(We get into car and I start the car.)
"Mommy, turn the air on higher. I am hot and getting dehydrated."

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"Mommy why do you always go to the gym"
"Because I need to workout"
"Why? So you can get a flat stomach like mine?"

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