Racing time

I feel like I am always racing the clock. Go here. Go there. Do this. Do that. And it just seems to get worse as the days pass. I am holding on to hope that one day I will just slow down.

I envy my older neighbors with grown children - many of their children my age or not far behind me. They just seem to enjoy life, their surroundings, their food, the air. They move slower, look more relaxed, seem so content. For just one weekend I want to be like them. I want to spend all weekend just leisurely painting a bedroom listening to the music I want to listen too. I want to cook a full meal with my husband and eat it slowly in silence while I drink glass of wine. I want to work in my yard all day and just enjoy the plants, get dirt all over me and then kick back with a beer afterwards.

In retrospect, I used to do all those things before I had kids. But now, I am running full speed all the time. And it is tiring. We are told as parents to slow down and enjoy all the moments with our kids but I feel sometimes those moments are measured and limited by the clock.

Sure one day I will be like my empty nest neighbors. And I will want to go back to when my kids were little. I know that. But, I need to figure out how to slow down the clock so I can at least catch my breath.