When my life was very different for 16 months

Lately I have been thinking about a short period in my life when I was a true stay at home mom and housewife. It was for a very short 16 months. April 2004-August 29th, 2005. I think many of my readers will recognize the significance of that last date.

When we moved to New Orleans, I quit my career as a Web Usability Consultant at US Steel in Pittsburgh. We decided hubby made enough money for me to stay home full time with our 14 month old daughter.

At the time I thought it was harder than being a working parent. Was I ever wrong. I'll tell you what is harder. Being an "at home" working parent and stay at home mom at the same time. That is what I do now.

So needless to say (and I am not complaining here) I am endlessly busy. I have little to no time for myself. I am always either taking care of my kids or working at my computer. I barely have time to clean. Luckily, my hubby picks up the slack there for me in his little spare time. He cooks, does dishes and laundry. And if I ask nicely, cleans the bathrooms too.

Over Easter weekend my parents were generous enough to take us to Orange Beach, Alabama for a very much needed mini-vacation. I took the laptop but much to my pleasure there was no WiFi where we stayed. It was my excuse to say F-it! I didn't think about work. I didn't do any work. I didn't even read a magazine - although I took at least 10 with me.

It was that weekend that I started to have this reoccuring thought of those 16 months where I was carefree and living the good life. Money wasn't an issue for us. Hubby was always working. I just hung out with My Girl. We were on the go daily. Parks, zoo, aquarium, children's museums, play dates, mom's club events, shopping, exploring, visiting friends. And when hubby traveled - which was often- we had no schedule what-so-ever.

We ate dinner when we wanted and where we wanted. We sometimes ate it early and spent the hours between 4 and 9pm out running around. Maybe we'd get Wendy's and eat out of the back of my truck at the lakefront and then swing afterward. Go to Wal-mart and just spend hours looking around at everything and hanging out in every aisle of the toy section. There was no bedtime and no wake up time. We would stay up till 11pm watching TV. Sleep till 10am.

We were spontaneous. A friend would call in the AM (not too early everyone knew!) and say, "Want to drive to Waveland today with the kids and do the beach?" We would drop everything and be out the door in 30 minutes! I remember spending long days away from home. We would hit the children's museum in Gulfport, swim at the beach after and get Dairy Queen for the drive home. Arriving home around 5/6pm sunburnt and exhausted!

We often stopped by a friends house to visit for a few minutes only to stay until bedtime because said friend opened a bottle of wine and the kids were having too much fun. Sometimes we even had dinner there.

The girl and I had no schedule. No one to answer too. No deadlines. No dinnertime. No bedtimes. No alarm clocks. Nothing. We were just two girls hanging out in our new home in the south. We were enjoying the mild weather all year. I remember the many times in February I would put the girl in the jogging stroller and roller blade the trace and lakefront . Sometimes in the morning. Sometimes in the afternoon. Sometimes around dinner time. Today, I would have to make plans and schedule in an hour to rollerblade.

I felt good then. Happy. Content. Alive. It was a very bright time in my life.

The one vision that I keep remembering the most is when I was hanging out with a bunch of mom's club friends at the trailhead water spouts. We had been there all day. You could tell whose hubbies traveled as we were always the last to leave as we didn't have any reason to rush home for dinner. It was so nice out we lingered extra long. I mentioned feeling like having a chocolate shake. Another mom made a suggestion of a new pizza place that had just opened and had great shakes. On the spot we all agreed to just take the kids to dinner there. And our day long event turned into dinner out with a bunch of tired kids and we loved it!

I got to know other HOOT moms (Husbands Out Of Town) and we tried to eat out together once a week. Often Mexican. Kids always wanted Mexican. It was a fun time.

Things have changed a lot in my life since August 29th, 2005. Not all bad. Just different. Katrina threw us for a loop and turned our world upside down for almost a year. Hubby lost his job the day before our 2nd child was born in July 2006 and then started a business 4 months later. And now I have to work to make ends meet. And that is fine. I am not opposed to working at all. It is just that my easy life has turned into a very busy, very scheduled, very routine, very chaotic, very stressful life.

But I got a taste of the carefree life. And I got precious time with My Girl. Today, I see my hubby daily and we are much more of a family - a family of four, not just two. So the good life had a lot of ups and was fun, but now, we are more of a family. And that is more important than anything.

It's a wrap!

I just realized I haven't posted since December 17th! Well, makes sense. My brother arrived on the 18th as my first holiday visitor. My mom left yesterday as my last holiday visitor! Phew!

So here is my holiday wrap up in random as it comes to me order!

- Severe fog on bridge the night brother arrived. Had to go through Slidell since we couldn't cross causeway bridge. We were 45 minutes late. Bridge was open on way home but had to go 35mph. Was a long night . . .

- When my parents tried to get here they got stuck in Atlanta cuz their first flight was late and they missed their connection. Got in VERY late after much running around the ATL airport trying to get on other flights out.

- My Girl sat on Santa's lap this year! Finally . . . Boy did too, but he did last year. He is not afraid. We attended a Santa party at a friends house and it was perfect. She just watched all the other kids first and then got up the nerve and up she went!

- My Girl got her ears pierced. It was her big idea and she begged a lot! I wanted to wait till her 6th birthday (feb) but daddy gave in (surprise to me!) and said ok a little earlier. She was brave and scared at the same time. Cried a little. Nana was there to see this big life moment for her. She picked heart shaped light pink stones for her first earrings. So cute.

- Went to New Orleans Art Museum for first time while family was here. We were fortunate to accidentlly happen upon Prospect 1 exhibits which were way cool. We all agreed our favorite exhibit was Willie Birch's drawings in the entrance. We also enjoyed the Paul Villinski's Emergency Response Studio. He makes a FEMA trailer green! I hope to be able to get to the Prospect 1 locations throughout the city before it is over. . .

- Took my brother and mom into the 9th ward to see Brad Pitt's Make It Right project.

- Ate at Deanie's, Dragos, Felix's Oyster Bar (hated it).

- Met Chef Leah Chase of Dooky Chase's restaurant. Wanted to eat there but the day we showed up they were closed for a wedding rehearsal. Dang. Did you know she is from Madisonville?

- Visited the Covington Farmer's Market and bought a great pepper jelly, banana pepper mustard, northern white bean salad and some incredible salsa! All homemade and cheap!

- My mom cleaned my house completely twice while here. She even mopped all my floors! Did all our laundry while here. Can she stay forever or at least visit once a week? Ohio is really cold in the winter mom. Just a thought . . .

- Kid's got their swing set that Uncle Greg bought them set up and love it. Nana spent many hours with the kids swinging and sliding.

- Uncle Greg taught my son how to shake his booty to music and now he does it all the time at home and in public. He looks ridiculous!

- My family time was low key compared to last year but nice. We laughed a lot and for some odd reason danced a lot. There was always music coming out of our computer and very loudly. Daddy played DJ and we all danced together. Everything from Christmas to Frank Sinatra to Doo Wop.

- My brother's pipes froze back at his house in Ohio while here. His furnace pilot went out for some reason. He went home to water damage all over his house. His neighbor saw water coming down his driveway from his garage and called him. He told him the code to his garage door and sure enough he had a problem. Luckily he was able to deal with some of it via phone from here. Lots of floors and ceilings to rip out now . . .

- We saw the movie Marley & Me. Made me cry.

- A friend passed away.

Summer in Ohio

Well, we arrived last night at Nana & Papa's house for our 12 day stay in Ohio.

The first thing the kids and I did this morning was go out in the backyard (still in our jammies) and lay down on the soft, thick grass! (No threat of ants here!) My youngest was a little freaked out by the feeling so foreign to him. We sat there in the morning sun and felt the cool breeze - no humidity! My kids actually thought it was chilly! My parents and I laughed about that. They are so accustomed to Louisiana weather.

My parents are big on opening up the house and letting the breeze move through the house. Always have been that way. They didn't even have central air until I went to college (The early 90s!). Plus, this is Ohio, not Louisiana. BUT! It does get VERY hot some days and muggy!

Anyway, they have had the house open all day and the air feels so light, cool and refreshing. They live close to Lake Erie and it is always windy around here. The air just moves around you and keeps you feeling comfortable. Ahhhhhhh. Summer in Ohio. Oh how I have forgotten. That is one thing I miss.

We visited my grandma today. Again, she had her front and back doors opened and the breeze just traveled through the house. She lives even closer to the lake and it was so nice! We sat outside while the kids had peanut butter and honey sandwiches. I looked around and realized not much had changed at Grandma's since I was young. She still has the same 1950's metal outdoor chairs (with like 10 different coats of paint on them over the years). Her house inside has changed a little but for the most part the same. The outside of her house has been maintained and updated as needed, but for the most part exactly the way I remember it. Exceptions: The dog & doghouse are missing. The large garden is missing. The brick flower box is missing. But Grandmas's annuals are everywhere just like always. She loves her flowers. She is an earth woman at heart. She is green in the old way of just not having much money and making use of what you have or nature gives you. For instance, she catches the rain water from her gutters and uses it to water her flowers.

It is a comfort sometimes to be back to a place that you remember well and most of all to just feel the lake breeze.

Weekend Wrapup

Wow. I just realized it has been over a week since I last posted. I didn't even realize it.

So today is Memorial Day and we had a family 3 day weekend. Just the four of us. We didn't do anything special. Just hung out. Here is a quick off the top of my head rundown.

- We went to Free Music Friday at the Mandeville Trailhead and had a blast! The boy really loved the music and running back and forth between the stage and our chairs. They ate snowballs and chips. The hubs and I drank a few beers! Great time.

- We swam at Franco's all three days. My Girl significantly improved at swimming in just this weekend alone. She suddenly started swimming underwater and we had a blast together going under and touching the bottom and making hand signs. Today was free waterslide day for member's at Franco's. My Girl went down for the first time ever and absolutely loved it! We had a blast taking turns going down with her.

- We did a lot of laundry that is still sitting on my "laundry" couch waiting to be folded or put away.

- We rode bikes on Sunday night and listened to the kids fight in the trailer the whole time.

- We went to Sam's club & Academy on Sunday morning because it was hot out when we woke up and we thought that was the best plan. Didn't buy much.

- The boy decided his new favorite word is "Ewwwww!"

- We cooked out for dinner every night and ate outside on the patio. Wasn't bad once the sun went lower than the trees.

- The kids played a lot of grocery store. I have been giving them empty food boxes or containers that are taped closed for them to use as their "groceries". They love it and it is something they seem to play well together at.

- We set up the craft center on the kitchen table for them daily. The boy is finally to the age where he can sit at the table with his sister and color, cut paper, glue stuff. It is nice to keep them occupied in such a way when we want to clean up dishes from dinner or something.

- I cleaned out my closet and probably removed at least 50 items. Lots of empty hangers and space! Just wish I had the time and money to shop and refill them!

- We watched a lot of Jon & Kate Plus Eight. We all like that show. It is great for hubby and I to watch since it makes us feels better about our situation. It could be harder!

Final thought:
It is important to remind ourselves that we need to balance work and family time. I often stress about making sure my kids have fun every day. I know my time is limited with them as one day they will be in school every day all day. Also, they will only be this little for so long. I want to make memories and enjoy them! I sometimes do this to a fault. I let too many other things fall to the wayside because of my devotion to letting my kids have fun and play. Oh well. As long as I do my job that keeps the bills paid! Otherwise, I can clean, organize and whatever later!



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Where in the world is My Bayou Vieux?

Did you think I fell off the face of the earth or acquired GBS again?

Nah, I am healthly and still living on earth. In fact, I am visiting the in-laws in Dallas for the week. Which much to my dismay, my dog-sitting friend Kelly tells me the weather has been beautiful back in New Orleans. Not the case here. A little chilly and lots of wind!

My kids are enjoying their visit with Gigi and Poppy as well as "Uncle Double", Tia (aunt) Crystal and cousin Mimi.

The kids especially love that rules are drastically reduced at Gigi's house. Popsicles are allowed ALL DAY and in unlimited quantities. Lucky for me she only buys sugerfree! Toys are of abundance and they are strewn all over the house in unbelievable amounts.

You would think I would have had time to blog while here. Me too. But, I have been taking this time to work on my taxes in addition to my usual work schedule. I tell you this year's taxes may be the death of me. I just hope I don't owe anything. As of right now I do - but, I haven't entered everything. The joy of being a contractor and having to do all those expenses, deductions, etc.

So here I sit at the brother/sister in-laws watching the Bee Movie, listening to my hubby and his brother cook mexican food and chit-chat. Thankfully, they have wireless!

Well, off to work on those taxes some more!

I am the most popular!

I am officially nominating myself and awarding myself "The Most Popular Member of My Family!"

I am so popular in fact that every time I walk by my daughter she has to say my name in admiration. Most times in request of a snack, drink refill, tv channel change, blanket, shoe removal, etc. But none the less she is requesting ME! the most popular family member.

The boy, he admires me so much he runs around the house all day yelling out my name in a repetitive banter. Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! MOMMA! (that is his extra loud screech meaning you better respond "Mrs. Most Popular Member of the Family!) I would say he showers me with admiration at least 4000 times a day. It is incredible!

Just last night while settling the kids down before bed we decided to watch Matilda together. Both kids were admanant about sitting with yours truly. Not Daddy! Yuck! They even fought over me! It was so thrilling. They just hopped up into the big gold comfy chair and snuggled up to me. I don't think I have ever had anyone actually FIGHT over me.

The best is that even the dog thinks I am the most popular. She does not get out of her bed or leave our bedroom until THE QUEEN (me) has risen. Daddy can be up showering, making coffee, up with the kids, but the dog will not move until I do. My daughter complained tonight that the dog won't stay in her room at night. She leaves when I leave. Yes, I am sooooooo wanted by all! Even the dog!

And last buy not least, my hubby (like the kids) thinks I am the best snuggler too. Except not on the gold chair watching tv . . .

So with dark circled eyes, a weary smile, dishes in the sink and nine loads of laundry to do I proudly accept my award of "The Most Popular Member of My Family!"

Our Hobby: Finding Sleep

Last night both kids ended up in our bed. Thankfully it is king size and they are still little. The boy arrived 1 hour after we went to bed. The girl about an hour later. I spent the next four hours being kicked in the cheekbone and throat by my son who always sleeps horizontally. Usually his feet kick my husband's back and his head is jammed up under my chin on my neck almost choking me. By 4 am I had enough! I moved him back to his bed but while in transit he woke up and then required rocking to go back to sleep. So I was up another 30 minutes. Then, I carried the girl back to her bed. She too woke up and I had to convince her that when the sun came up she could come back in - just give mommy a few hours to herself!

I mean seriously, isn't sleeping the only time mom's get to themselves? I don't even get that! I want to take that time to have my own space (no one sitting on my, hanging on me or touching me!) and have my own thoughts and dreams. I want to spend that time in peace and quiet. Ugh. This mom doesn't even get a break when she sleeps! My mom always says I haven't slept in 5 years - since the first one was born.

Monday during the big LSU/OSU I was commenting to my hubby about how crazy it was our friends from Pittsburgh drove over 18 hours down here for the game. He said, "Well, that is their hobby - Football. Just like some people camp or travel or whatever." I said, "What is our hobby?" He said, "The constant quest for sleep."

Christmas in New Orleans

Well, the family is all here and we have been busy to say the least! When my parents arrived on Tuesday we headed straight from the airport to The Galley (2535 Metairie Rd) - my dad's favorite restaurant. I had the crab cakes with crawfish sauce and have to say they are my second favorite New Orleans dish next to Drago's crawfish ravioli!


Hubby and I planned a lot of meals and prepared some in advance to make meal time easier. We didn't want to spend so much time going out to eat and deciding where to eat. We made turkey/sausage gumbo, crawfish pies, hungarian soup and pulled pork sandwiches.

On Saturday morning we had a family photo taken by Katherine Bentz. It is rare we are all together and my mom has wanted us to get a family photo done so that was our Christmas gift to her.

On Saturday night we got to involve my family in a tradition we have participated in since we moved here in 2004. Our neighbor Patty and her husband Frank always invite us over for a Spaghetti dinner which is immediately followed by the decorating of Gingerbread Houses. Now, this is not your typical gingerbread house decorating. In fact, I will bet money you have never seen anything like it before! Patty prepares a homemade house and constructs it for each person. Then, she lays out the candy to decorate it. Imagine 10 -12 cookie sheets filled with those single serving pie plates each filled with a different kind of candy. Her table probably seats 12 people or more and we all sit around it with candy covering the table and barely leaving room for us to decorate our houses. We each get our own loot of icing in icing bags with tips to adhere our candy to our houses. It is amazing and gets bigger each year! My family just couldn't believe it and loved it. Here are our works of art!






On Sunday we finished our christmas shopping, wrapping, preparations. We cooked some steaks and boiled up some shrimp for dinner. My brother couldn't get over the size of the shrimp we have here!


Today we headed into New Orleans to take my brother for his first tour of the French Quarter. We had lunch at the Bourbon House which was a good choice for all. It was chilly outside, but we walked all over the quarter and took in the street artists. This gentleman below could really play a mean harmonica and had a pretty good voice!






After our visit to the quarter we returned home to set up the neighborhood's traditional luminaries. Many houses buy them from a neighbor and set them along the road in front of our houses to light the way for Santa.

After some fun with fireworks we read "The Night Before Christmas", set our cookies, milk and carrots for Santa and rudolph and then put the kiddies to bed. Once in bed my mom and I prepared our breakfast casserole for the morning. We put the gifts under the tree, stuffed the stockings and now at 12:07 pm I better put out that fire in the fireplace so Santa doesn't burn his bottom and get to bed! I leave you with this very sweet photo of what my daughter put together for Santa tonight.

More on Working Mom Flexibility

If you missed my post "My Thoughts On W-O-R-K" read it now. The following is more related articles.

ABC is running a bunch of specials entitled Take Control of Your Life. See the articles and videos here:
Take Control of Your Life

Virginia Beach Trip

I took a trip with the kids to visit my 92 year old grandma in Virginia Beach. Met up with my parents and brother who flew in from Ohio as well as my aunt and uncle who live there too. It was a nice visit for all and the kids loved seeing the family. Here are just a few of the 63 pics I took.

Virginia beach in late september

The clouds - taken from my window seat on the airplane.

My favorite photo from the trip

Sun worshipper

Checking out what is happening on the tarmac before we takeoff

What happened on my vacation.

It happened in just an instant.

There I was all alone heading from terminal D to terminal C in the Atlanta airport. Purse backpack and a magazine my only possessions. I am walking briskly, head held high, smiling, face glowing with a nice tan, thinking of all the fun I just had with my best friend over the last five days in Florida. I glance to my left and that is when I saw her . . . She was pushing a double stroller, very stuffed LL Bean day pack on her back, husband in tow with car seat flung over his shoulder and diaper bag on his shoulder. She looked haggered, hurried and winded. She was struggling to navigate her stroller onto the people mover. After she succeeded she looked up and we locked eyes. Just for a second. We exchange knowing and longing looks. She thinking "I wish I were you - traveling all alone, free from the extra baggage children require when traveling and moving along so easily - looking happy, rested and radiant." I thinking "I've been there so many times before and know exactly how you are feeling right now" The glance ended as quick as it started and I was suddenly overcome with sadness. I missed my kids and my hubby.

For an instance I was glad I wasn't her and this time around I got to go solo. However, I also felt that longing to see the 3 most important people in my life.

A vacation by myself!

Yup! You read that correctly. This momma is taking a vacation by herself. No, that does not mean me and the kids. That means JUST ME! Alone, on a plane for the first time in . . . oh say . . . 5 years? Maybe more. The last time I traveled alone on a plane was when I flew to Atlanta and Chicago to do user testing for a startup web company I was working for. I think that was 2001 - ok 6 years ago. I might actually be able to read or sleep!

I am flying to Florida to visit my best friend for 5 days. She is taking off work and on one day we are hitting the beach (just her and I) while her kids are in school. All day on the beach by ourselves! Whooeee! No watching kids, playing with kids, feeding kids, wrangling kids. NOthing. Just us with our suntan lotion, beach chairs, cooler and lots of conversation and sunbathing!

So you are probably wondering about my kids. Never fear. This was my hubby's idea and he will be spending 5 fun-filled days with our 2 kids under 5 by himself. He has never done it before but claims if I can do it, he can do it. It should seem that way. I expect several phone calls. ;-)

I am going to try to get him to cover my blog so WE ALL can read about his days with the kids. Should be interesting!

sorry haven't written

It has been awhile since I have posted and might be longer. Hopefully I can post tomorrow. It is 11:00pm and I am beat. My 1yr old is teething something fierce. That on top of work demands and family obligations - this mom is going to bed!



Quote of the day:
"You can do it all yourself or you can make enough money to pay people to do it all for you." - My hubby (the dreamer)

What I want to be when I grow up?

The ladies at Crazy Hip Blog Mamas have a collaboration blog going about childhood dreams and it made me do a low in the gut internal chuckle and had to participate.

In 6th grade I was going to be an author. I attended a young writer's workshop at the local university. With the help of my wonderful 6th grade teacher I even wrote, illustrated, laminated and bond a book for my parents for Christmas. Then I hit 7th grade and my english teacher slaughtered everything I wrote because my grammar sucked. I still want to publish a book someday. I just want to shout out to all english teachers - go easy, don't squash dreams of creative writers with technicalities like grammar. That is what editors are for! At my second job in the real world it was at a city newspaper (but I wasn't a writer) and someone there told me that "Those who can't write, edit."

In 8th grade we were required to take a computer class. It was at that point that I vowed to NEVER have a job where I sat at a computer all day!

Around 9th grade I was going to be a Marine Biologist and actually even got certified in Scuba Diving. Then, I found out you have to take a lot of science classes. To this day I love everything water, ocean, fish, shells, boats, etc. As an adult I was in Cape Cod on vacation and watching a marine biologist pull out and tag a huge horseshoe crab. I will never forget standing there kicking myself for never pursuing that career choice.

In 10th grade my bio in a high school musical program said I could see myself barefoot and pregnant living in Maine in 15 years.

At one point I even considered becoming a pilot, but that went nowhere. Too expensive to even make it a hobby!

So what did I end up doing? I got a journalism/advertising degree and worked as a web designer and consultant for many years. I sat my rump in front of a computer all day! And still do . . . I became barefoot and pregnant but in a different state!

4 year old says . . .

Tonight at bedtime my daughter said,
"Daddy is the smartest daddy. He can make anything. Well, not one thing. He can't make a fanbut."
"What is a fanbut?" I ask.
"A fanbut is like a smokehouse."

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Today my mom called and said my dad wasn't feeling well because it was hot at work and he might be dehydrated. She told the same to my daughter on the phone when she asked about Papa. So this conversation happens later.

"Honey, hurry up into the car."
"Why?"
"Because brother is sitting in the cart and it is hot out here."
"What will happen? Will he get dehydrated?"
(We get into car and I start the car.)
"Mommy, turn the air on higher. I am hot and getting dehydrated."

______________________________________

"Mommy why do you always go to the gym"
"Because I need to workout"
"Why? So you can get a flat stomach like mine?"

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Son takes first steps

My 1 year old son took his first steps today! He should be running by oh . . . next week.

Work/Life "Integration"

I was reading this morning at breakfast and learned a new way of thinking about the work/life balance. Kerrii Anderson (no, I didn't misspell her first name) of Wendy's International was featured in the article "Burger Battle" (August/September issue of Pink Magazine).

She says she prefers the word "integration" because "balance" means perfect. Seperating your career and personal life in perfect symmentry is just not reality.

So basically we need to find ways to integrate each into the other and sometimes that means we still need to sacrifice our time with our kids to meet a deadline or leave the office early to make that big recital.

It is forever going to be something we all struggle with.

A perfect summer weekend

We had the all-american family weekend. We spent Saturday outside washing the cars, organizing the outside storage area. The kids played in the kiddie pools and went crazy with the sidewalk chalk on the driveway. We played 80's music really loud. We ate hotdogs with chili and shredded cheese for lunch. We had grilled chicken and a nice salad for dinner.

On Sunday hubby and I took turns sleeping late. (yes, it is possible- don't ask.) We made chocolate chips cookies late morning, grilled cheese for lunch and then headed to the pool until dinner time. It was so nice. A slight breeze and full sun! Not a cloud in the sky. Our oldest practiced her swimming skills and the youngest thought he could do everything she was doing. Lots of screaming, laughing, chasing, giggling and the like. We took two sleepy heads home and filled their bellies with burgers off the grill with big tomato slices, grilled corn, baked beans and of course watermelon! Finished off with two chocolate chip cookies with a gob of vanilla ice cream smooshed in the middle. ICE CREAM SANDWICHES!

The weather was awesome for this time of year. After two weeks (or more!) of rain everyday it was very refreshing and a lot of fun!