Friday, March 7, 2008

Coincidence? Fate? Signs? Who knows?

NolaNotes asked her readers to write about whether or not they believe in coincidence. I promised her a post and here it is.

My hubby and I have had this type of conversation in great detail many times. Especially, in the last two years when our lives have taken some crazy twists and turns. God and fate are often analyzed and compared in these conversations as well. I am not religious (There ya go. Now you all know I am going to hell!) and my beliefs are such that a force guides us throughout life and offers us crossroads/opportunities and we must decide which way to go. I often wonder if coincidence isn't just affirmation for the choices we make.

That said, here is one story from my life that is full of coincidence.

I am in college. Looking for a job. Giving up hope. Very tiny ad in our school newspaper,which usually has junk job ads, says they are looking for someone who knows Photoshop and QuarkXPress - two design programs. (Coincidence #1 - a real ad for a real job in our school newspaper!) Ad simply has an email to send resume. I send mine. No clue where it is. I was trying to move to the mountains in the New England area. At this point I don't care where it is. I get a response back to interview the very next day! I find out it is in the middle of the mountains in WV. (Coincidence #2 - it is in the mountains!) I skip class and drive 3 hours to the interview. I get the job on the spot. It is for web designing. I have no clue how to do that (this is 1996) and they don't care. (Coincidence #3 - web designing job in a small town in West Virginia? Certainly not where you would think you would find a cutting edge job?)

I am hired to replace someone who is moving. Two weeks in I am ready to quit. Hate the people I work for. On the replacee's last day (Willis is his name) we are driving back to the office from lunch and I express my situation to him. He encourages me to stay and even goes as far to say I will probably end up marrying someone from there. I laugh out loud. Willis is dead serious. I ask why he thinks that. He says it is just that type of place. (Huh?) Anyway, he invites me out the next night to meet some of his friends so I will know some people and maybe have someone to hang out with. He thinks that will make it easier.

So I arrive at the designated meeting place at the designated time. No Willis. Never showed up that night at all. (Coincidence #4- I find out later he got a flat tire an hour outside of town. Had he been there. What happened next may never have happened.)I hit the bathroom first and found a set of keys laying on the sink. I pick them up and take them to the bartender. He tells me to put them back. I tell him I won't as someone will come looking for them later. He tells me it is a small town they will know exactly where to look and will be back for them. I throw the keys across the bar at him and say not so nicely, "Just take the damn keys!". He buys me a beer and tells me to sit down. I marry him 3 yrs and 3 mos later.

It is hard for me not to ask how did I find my way to this town. Why did the series of events take place as they did so my husband and I would meet. I wasn't looking for a job in West Virginia or for Web Design. How did Willis know I would marry someone I met in that town? (Hubby is not FROM there, just lived there.) Why did Willis get that flat tire that night and never show up?

Thinking about it more now, coincidence might not be the right word for what happened. Was it fate? God? Who knows.

Hubby and I often talk about this sorta stuff happening. Like ending up down here in New Orleans. Him always wanting to run his own business. The job he found suddenly down here. Then the person he met through that job. Then losing his job at a particular time when the said person above approached him about doing his own thing. Now, he does his own thing. His dream.

Why do we meet certain people in our lives that catapult us to a decision or instance where our lives change? Or maybe not change but take us to that path we are looking for?

Am I just getting old and looking for answers and reasons for the things that happen in my life when as a younger person I just didn't give a shit why?

So do I believe in coincidence? Maybe.
So do I believe in signs? I think so.
So do I believe in fate? I think so.

Do I even have any clue what I am talking about? Not really.
Do I think my readers think I am nuts after reading this post? Most definitely!


MRussell said...

I don't think you're nuts. Remember, I met my wife in the same town, in a similar fashion.

Have a great day.

Nola said...

I LOVE this post. And I don't think you are crazy at all. You and really are so alike! I think we both see these types of things not as simply fate but at least some part of recognition of you taking deliberate choices in your life. You choice to apply for that job because you were wanting to go for something, even if it meant looking in the most unlikely place to find the opportunity.

But the flat tire and keys? That's something.

Great story! Thanks so much for sharing it and your thoughts on coincidence.

Mamma said...

Not crazy at all!! I think I feel exactly the same way you do. It's so weird how some things just seem to happen.

Anonymous said...

Just testing

Krista said...

I've never heard that story of how you guys met. That's great! ;) And I could so see him doing/saying that.

Brandi said...

I'm not sure what I believe in either, except there's got to be some higher power than us. But I do believe in coincidence/fate or whatever we want to call it. When I was younger and naive, I moved to California, chasing after a divorced guy. When it all went to pot, I was frantically searching for a place to live, which, if you've lived in California, you know how difficult and expensive that is. Long story short, I just so happened to find 2 great girls to live with for only $300 a month, AND it was literally ONE BLOCK from my job. There was some force behind that; there is no doubt in my mind. Also, when we moved down here, I feel that some force was at work for us to find this house we love so much. It came up for sale the LAST day we were looking (and we were so discouraged because we hadn't liked what we'd seen so far.) Also, our neighbors have turned into being really good friends and our kids are best friends, so again, I feel some kind of fate was at work.